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PrintColoring Outside the Lines
Having been controlled by two abusers in her lifetime — once as a child, and again as an adult — it wasn’t until she found religion and the strength to become free that her art truly flourished.
photography by Cindy Momchilov and artwork provided by Red Door Gallery
If you are a central Arkansas resident, you may have seen Theresa Cates’ work during your daily commute. Her beautiful, religious-inspired paintings of African American women in brightly-colored dresses, heads thrown back and arms lifted to the heavens can be found along the streets of North Little Rock, as part of the city’s attempt to improve the looks of their electrical-boxes and bring art into the community.
While the characters Cates exhibits in her paintings are bold, self-assured, forthright women of God, it wasn’t long ago that Cates would not have used these words to describe herself. It was a long journey for this artist to discover her own talent, find her courage, spirituality and self-worth and save herself and her three boys from an abusive husband and break what she calls a “generational curse.”
Cates knew abuse to be “the norm” from as far back as she could remember. “My father was physically abusive to me and my family. Most of the abuse was directed to my mother, and me, because I resembled her most of all the children.” The other children in the family distanced themselves from Cates, as she was usually the target of the abuse. Isolated, she turned to her mother as an ally.
She recalls an instance when her father hit her so hard both of her eyes were blackened, and teeth were knocked out as early as age 4. “When you are that young, you can’t really understand why this is happening, and you question if the events actually happened. For a long time, I thought it was just a dream, but I knew it happened because I could remember the exact clothes I was wearing, but there was so much of it that I blocked from my mind,” Cates said.
Her mother introduced art into her life during this painful time.
“I remember sitting on the bathroom floor with my mother, crying, and she would put a pen in my hand and unroll bathroom tissue and tell me to draw on it to distract me. From that, I picked art as an outlet, and as I got older I continued to doodle on everything … bills, notebooks … anything that was laying around.”
Art was one of her favorite subjects in school. “Art class in school was very freeing for me. I could escape on paper anytime I wanted to. I would try to color in the lines well and bring my work home to show my father so he would like me. To this day, I don’t know what it is like to feel the love of a father, and I probably never will.”
Cates’ mother finally helped the family escape their abusive situation. She packed them up one night and drove to Cates’ grandfather’s home where they lived until she was an adult. Her parents divorced when she was 5. Though the physical abuse ceased, Cates’ father continued mentally and emotionally abusing the children on his visits. “He would get all of us kids in the car and act like he was going to drive us in the river. He would drive so fast straight toward the water and terrify us, and then he would turn at the last minute. Even today, none of us knows how to swim and are all still afraid of the water.”
It was Cates’ misfortune to be subjected to abuse in her first marriage at the young age of 19. “Not knowing what to look for in a man, I found the same [negative traits] in my first husband. He was mentally abusive to me. I was just used to being in a hostile environment,” Cates said.
Though her husband was not abusive initially, she noticed many similarities to her father began to develop. “The drinking, arguing, fighting, pushing and shoving. It was mostly mental abuse, saying things just to make you feel bad about yourself all the time.”
Cates stayed with this man for seven years. It was finally through the encouragement of her three sons; her desire to be a good mother; and to break the “generational curse” so that her sons would not grow up to repeat what they saw, that she found the courage to pack up her children one night while her husband was away and take them to Women and Children First (WCF) — an Arkansas organization to help abused women and their families — and began a new life.
“I only left with a couple of changes of clothes for my boys, so we arrived at the shelter with basically nothing,” Cates said. She and her sons stayed at the shelter for three weeks while trying to get their feet on the ground. The organization helped her find housing, clothes and offered group therapy sessions, all for which she is eternally grateful.
“Because of what Women and Children First did for me, I’ve become such an advocate for them and battered women. Because I didn’t have a childhood, I want to help the organization reach out and give others the childhood I didn’t have.”
One way in which Cates gives back to WCF is by donating to the facility 10 percent of the proceeds of all of her paintings, as well as reaching out and sharing her story with other women. She spoke for the first time about her abusive past in November to a group of about 50 women.
“I was so nervous, speaking about my past, but I know it is something I have to do. We are so programmed to respond with ‘fine’ when we are asked how we are. I want to help give abused women the courage to say that they are not ‘fine,’ seek help and learn how to forgive themselves and their abusers,” Cates said.
Though Cates had always been interested in art, her talent didn’t truly develop until she discovered religion, which also helped her find the strength to escape from her abuser. “The further I got from my husband, the more the women [in my paintings] took on vibrant personalities. When I finally got out of the abusive relationship and started learning to like myself, the women started wearing hats and taking on more movement and personality.”
In addition to being strong enough to survive two abusers in her life, Cates has also found the astonishing courage to forgive them both, to move forward and concentrate on her own future. She and her ex-husband have become good friends.
“We discussed our past, and he apologized. I just write it off as we were both very young and both learning. I learned about forgiveness in church, you have to forgive not only others, but yourself and realize that what happened wasn’t your fault. You have to be able to forgive to close that chapter of your life.”
Though Cates is on friendly terms with her father, he has never addressed or acknowledged his past abuse. “I know he loves me, and I don’t blame him anymore. I think it is actually hard for him to be around me; I think he feels very guilty for what he did. His father abused him, and that was all he knew. I still respect him, but we don’t have a good father/daughter relationship, and at 42, I guess I am just not ever going to know what that is like. I had to forgive him to overcome him.”
Today, Cates is a far cry from the girl/woman she was in the past. She is empowered, involved in her church and tries to set a good example for her children, who are very encouraging of her art.
“I’ve never had an art lesson, never went to art school. God gave me this creative gift, and the church helped me to realize it, and discover that I am loved.”
Cates shows her work exclusively in Red Door Gallery in North Little Rock. She credits owner Melody Stanley for pushing her and encouraging her toward art. “Now I have people calling, commissioning paintings, and people who collect my work. The best part is hearing them say my paintings make them happy. I love that my gift, which was born out of pain, makes people happy.”
Cates still works fulltime and paints in her free time. She is working toward a life in which she can pursue her passion and paint for a living. This year she is planning to journey down a new path, where she will share her story with groups, do live painting demonstrations and continue to raise money for victims of domestic abuse. To learn more about Cates and her work, visit majesticmotions.com.
Women and Children First Woman of the Year Gala
Little Rock’s Women and Children First, an organization dedicated to providing assistance to victims of domestic abuse and their families, is holding its largest annual fundraiser, the Woman of the Year Gala, on Jan. 14, in Little Rock, Ark., at the Peabody Hotel’s Grand Ballroom.
“Each year we honor a woman who has given much to the community and aided with women’s and children’s issues. Linda Gleason is our honoree this year. Linda and her husband George are such great philanthropists to our community. Linda has donated so much of her time to our shelter by facilitating groups and studies with the women. She even ‘re-did’ our porch with beautiful new furniture. She is always willing to provide for any need,” Gigi Peters, WCF executive director, said.
During the evening, information about the organization and what they have in store for 2012 will be shared. The elegant event will include dinner, music, dancing, cocktails and more. For more information, tickets or sponsorships, call the shelter at (501) 376-3219 or log onto wcfarkansas.org.
