My Opinion: You Are What You Think
What would we think about if we weren’t always thinking about how fat we are?
My dear friend Blanche recently posed this question, and it has given me, ahem, FOOD for thought. What thoughts WOULD I have if they weren’t somehow tied to my over-sized middle? Since she pointed this out, I find it’s gotten even harder to have a fat-free thought.
Try as I might, I cannot find even six degrees of separation between literally ANY subject and food (and/or the size of my burgeoning thighs). Everything circles back within a step or two at most.
Wedding invitation arrives. First thought is, “Oh, how sweet,” but hot on its heels comes, “Afternoon wedding? I have the perfect dress — as soon as I drop 50 pounds.” Followed closely by, “I wonder who’s making the wedding cake?”
“What a cute shirt!” “Oh, but it’s really fitted — not good for the fat rolls.” “Rolls. They have reeeeally good rolls at the Elite. Who wants to go? Oh, that’s where they have the great chicken fried steak, too, isn’t it?” It’s a circle, and it’s a vicious one.
Baseball game? Hot dogs. Hot day. Too fat for shorts. Movie? Buttered popcorn. Elated to have elastic waist pants. Dancing? Do they make total body Spanx? I think they make a great burger there. Funeral? Thank goodness, I can wear an entirely black outfit. Thank heaven for funeral FOOD — and if I were to die tonight I know I would wish I had eaten more of that coconut cake.
We were invited to share a vacation house in Costa Rica, and the girlfriend who invited us shares my weight/food conundrum. Our initial excitement was quickly dampened by the thought of swimsuits. However, from there we somehow soon found ourselves wondering if it’s one of those houses that comes with a chef and from there we went to trying to figure out a way that only the two of US would go on this trip!
What WOULD we think about if every single thought didn’t bring with it not only a realization of our current girth, but also delicious plans for further additions to it? Can’t even imagine it — ghosts of Twinkies past, present and future assail us at every turn. I suppose we might already have found cures for dreaded diseases and/or figured out the solution to world peace, had we not been so distracted by the anticipation of our next meal — and the tragic results of the last few on our dress size.
What do other people think about? We think they are thinking about how fat WE are, of course.
Jill Conner Browne is a multiple #1 New York Times® Best Seller.
Her latest book FAT IS THE NEW 30: The Sweet Potato Queens’ Guide to Coping With (the crappy parts of) Life was recently published by Amazon. She is featured regularly in national and international magazines and television shows. You can learn more about “Her Royal Highness” at sweetpotatoqueens.com.